Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Missing

Have never in such feeling before
Have never ever looking back on the past
Have never ever wanting to return to the past
But, suddenly felt this way

Missing life in University so much
Missing friends in University so much
Missing my single days so much
Just wanting to return to the past

Am I not happy with the current?
Am I not contented?
Am I too demanding?
Am I thinking too much?

Nothing can be done
Work hard
Pray hard
Things will eventually get better hopefully

Friday, 7 December 2012

What Has Gone Wrong?

Life after ROM wasn't as happy as I thought
Been optimistic
Been giving lots of chances thinking things would get better
But it hasn't
What has gone wrong?

Been asking myself have I chose the wrong one
Been thinking he wasn't the one I desired
I know this shouldn't pop up in my mind
What has gone wrong with my life?

Tried not to think about things that cannot be undone
Tried my best to accept everything about him
Tried to swallow my tears
And told myself everything will be fine

Baby, you are mommy's strength to move on
Please grow up healthily and happily
Nothing else mommy would demand
Mommy will try to give you the best

I love you, baby!



Monday, 8 October 2012

Birth of the Precious Princess 01/10/2012

Contractions begin every 5 mins on 30/09/2012 (Sunday) 1:20am
Being suggested by the midwife to take some paracetamol
Little blood loss at about 3am
Being asked to go to the hospital to have a check

Was only dilated for 1cm
Little water loss
Being given paracetamol
Being transferred to the ward

Pains get so much stronger
Hardly sleep
Sweating
Drowsy because of stronger pain killers given

5cm dilated at about 9.30pm
Was pushed into the labour room
Was given stronger pain killers - gas and air
Makes me dizzy and sleepy

After few hours, it's 01/10/2012 (Monday)
Was dilated to only 8cm
Given some medicine to empty bladder and bowel
Does not work well

Being suggested for stronger pain killers - epidural
Where a needle is put on my back
Which makes the bottom half of my body numb
Finally fully dilated at about 1.00am

The numbed half bottom of my body makes pushing baby out harder
Tried pushing for an hour
Did not work out
Being suggested to move to the theater

Baby's position checked - was not right for pushing
C section being suggested

At 3.11am 
Here comes the sound of my princess crying, weigh 3.03kg
Tears burst
Really happy

Hugging her while stitches being done
First breast feeding given at about 4.30am
Was later being pushed to the ward
While baby was taken for vitamin K injection

Because of the long loss of water
Baby was having risk of infection
Needed antibiotic medication for days
Till blood report shows no bugs

Stayed at the hospital till 04/10/2012 (Thurs)
Did not manage to get sleep every night
Baby wants feed almost every hour
And wants cuddle to sleep

Labouring took me 18 hours
No matter how hard it is during the hospital stay
Is worth of after looking at my sweet princess

I love you baby!

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

What Can I Do To Make Life Better?

Indeed life is full of ups and downs
And yes I am at the most down now

Financial problem at this time is not fun
Baby arriving soon
Everything is just in mess
Nothing can be done apart from wiping tears off days and nights

No one to speak to
Few could help out
What can I do to make life better?

Sunday, 2 September 2012

11/08/2012 32W3D

Counting down!