Bad Day

What a bad day for me! Woke up and wanted to go for jogging but it was raining. So, I continued my sleep. Then, with the blurred mind and blurred eyesight, wanted to start writing my assignment that will be due in 4 days' time, but, realised that my laptop couldn't be turned on!! WHAT HAPPEN???!!! I was really conscious by then. Kept on trying and hoping some miracle to happen. Hoping it's the adapter problem. Yeah, I could insert my battery but my battery is dead for quite some time!!

Alright! Wanted to call my friends to see if any of them are using the same brand of laptop as mine. MY PHONE IS OUT OF CREDIT where i can only send the most 2 texts and it was raining heavily outside. I text my friend to ask him to give me a call. He did give me a ring after that but I missed the call. Last 10p, still sufficient to miss call my friend. But,... it entered to the voicemail box. All my credit is gone. %$&@!?@&*

Finally, gave up. Rain stopped. And, here I am in the library doing my assignment. Plugged in my headphone. Turn on the music from the computer as usual. After an hour, somebody turned to me. I took off my headphone. I heard my loud music COMING FROM THE SPEAKER OF THE COMPUTER!!! Oh God, hoping there's a hole for me to hide my head. WTH with me today???!!! Hoping all these bad things stop right now.

1st time - Fried Chicken

Kind of good mood I'm today! Don't know why just out of a sudden feel like cooking a dish that I've never done before as I don't really do any deep frying dishes. Today, is the 1st time I cooked fried chicken. From marinate to serve. Quite satisfied with the output. Should have take a picture to keep it as memory. Since no picture was taken, so I decided to record my "1st time" in my blog.

The satisfaction and happiness came from the time when I saw the kids are enjoying and praising the yummy yummy tasty fried chicken. I would say that's the satisfaction and enjoyment of a chef by seeing people finish up their food.

Well.... let me recall my recipe... (for 4 chicken wings including the drummets)

1. Marinate the chicken with salt, black pepper, garlic and spring onion (suppose it will taste better if I used garlic powder)

2. Put it in the refrigerator.

After 3 hours (*The longer the better I think) -- Prepare the batter

1. Flour + salt + pepper --> mix it together (suppose it will taste better to include some garlic powder and less pepper)

2. Add in some milk

3. Beat an egg in then mix the batter well

Frying time...

1. Heat up the oil

2. Mix the chicken wing with the batter in a plastic bag --> Shake it to ensure the whole chicken wing is evenly but not thickly coated.

3. Put it into the oil

What is Love?

What's Love? Love is all about the right place, right time and the right person.

I don't know how true was your love for me. Looking at those emails, messages and chatting, I can feel your love for me. But, sometimes, I felt you're just being good to me.

Don't you know how hurt I was of hearing your "gf" telling me that you're just being good to me and that's from you.

After we broke up, u still sending me emails and texts telling me how much you love me and how much you missed me. Why? Why? What's the reason of you doing so since you were with another girl?

That's life. What a challenging and unpredictable love life I had. Always I'm thinking how did I fall in love with u so deeply when my intention of accepting you is to forget the hurt caused by another person (I knew that's a very bad idea). You, a person who does not meet most of the criteria I'm looking for, how did I fall for you?

From could not care to bother to could not live a day without bothering. From dislike to deeply in love. From dislike to crazy over you. From unintentional to ready to be committed. From a mind full of him to a mind full of you. 360 degree changed. Willing to change my future plan just because of you. Willing to give up comfy life just because of you. Willing to accept whatever ridiculous excuses or reasons given just because is you. I could ensure nobody else could change my life totally like this.

If given me a chance, I will not want to accept your love since that was not my intention. Accepting your love to forget the hurt resulted in greater (or probably greatest) hurt. But, I would really love to be with u forever given the right place and right time. And, given the right place and right time, will you hold on strong your love for me? Will your eyes see only me?

Whatever it is, you're always the one I love the most. Always take good care of yourself. I guess I do not need to wish you of having happiness as I think you had found your happiness. Still, in my heart, till now, I wanted to say to you I love you so much and I miss you so much, baby.

You're like a sleeping volcano...

I wondering why till now you're still haunting me? Sometimes I thought I have forget about you, forget about our past, forget about all the unhappy and even happy moments. Now, I realised I have never forget about you. You are just like a sleeping volcano deep inside my heart. When it explodes, I can still feel the pain, I can still feel how much I miss you.

On a sleepless night, I was thinking how did I able to survive for so long when you are not beside me and you are with another girl. I just could not understand.

Tried to be strong in front of you and the girl. Pretending everything is over in my heart. Pretending to be generous. Nobody knows how hurt I am deep inside. Why should I be good to both of you? Happiness that you are having is from the suffering and hurtful sacrifice that I have made. A fact that even I do not dare to admit, that is, I am missing you and I am still crying over you not because of the hurt but the feeling of missing you.

So many questions in my heart that I really hope to get a clear answer from you. But, I think it is useless to ask because it is not going to change any of our current situation. I am clear with my standing that I have made the right decision of letting you go. Without you, I can work towards my goal and you too, can continue working towards your dream.

Sometimes, looking back at your text, listening to our phone conversation, all I feel is your love. Even such a strong feeling of love can end up in separation, I just don't know what is love anymore.