Monday, 16 November 2009

You're like a sleeping volcano...

I wondering why till now you're still haunting me? Sometimes I thought I have forget about you, forget about our past, forget about all the unhappy and even happy moments. Now, I realised I have never forget about you. You are just like a sleeping volcano deep inside my heart. When it explodes, I can still feel the pain, I can still feel how much I miss you.

On a sleepless night, I was thinking how did I able to survive for so long when you are not beside me and you are with another girl. I just could not understand.

Tried to be strong in front of you and the girl. Pretending everything is over in my heart. Pretending to be generous. Nobody knows how hurt I am deep inside. Why should I be good to both of you? Happiness that you are having is from the suffering and hurtful sacrifice that I have made. A fact that even I do not dare to admit, that is, I am missing you and I am still crying over you not because of the hurt but the feeling of missing you.

So many questions in my heart that I really hope to get a clear answer from you. But, I think it is useless to ask because it is not going to change any of our current situation. I am clear with my standing that I have made the right decision of letting you go. Without you, I can work towards my goal and you too, can continue working towards your dream.

Sometimes, looking back at your text, listening to our phone conversation, all I feel is your love. Even such a strong feeling of love can end up in separation, I just don't know what is love anymore.

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